1. On the same page. No one reads books anymore, except for a few nerds who think they’re better than everyone and are too good for Netflix. So why are we still using this expression? Let’s update it to be more current: On the same app. You know how annoying it is when some people are using WhatsApp and others are using Viber or Signal or whatever. “Can we meet before the presentation so we’re all on the same app?”
  2. Skin in the game. Dog in the fight. These two similar expressions are both horrible, conjuring images of painful abrasions or animal cruelty. I recommend we use polliwog in the pond. “We charge all attendees a small amount so that they’ll have some polliwogs in the pond.” Or “I don’t have a polliwog in this pond, but I think your boss may be the Anti-Christ.”
  3. Wear a lot of hats. If there’s one thing we all do, it’s doing a whole bunch of things. That’s what this expression means. But it’s ridiculous. No one wears hats, except the Queen. I propose we say ride a lot of emus. Emus are these giant birds. Some people ride them. It never looks graceful, and can’t be fun for the birds. So to ride a lot of emus means you’re doing a whole bunch of stuff that you probably shouldn’t be doing. “We’re a little understaffed at the moment, so everyone will have to ride several emus until we hire more people.”

Read the full list by Vu Le at Nonprofit AF