“I think I will just take the big green glass vase.” My dad smiled at me when I said this. That vase was a remnant of his bachelor days in the early 1950’s in Washington, DC, when he would fill it with flowers to impress the ladies. Now it was 2004, and our parents (married since 1954) were downsizing to an apartment—and giving away about 90 percent of their belongings. The six of us kids had first dibs. Legacy philanthropy is hard and involves carefully balancing legacy and progress. But the long road of preparation to run our family foundation after the death of our parents in 2021 started many years ago, when they were still very much alive.

As opposed to a difficult, melancholy task of going through a lifetime of material goods after someone’s death, we were able to ask them about the items, learn their origins, laugh and take only what we thought we would enjoy having. There was no judgement, only respect for our future. This is exactly what has happened with the foundation.

The Foundation’s Origins

The Diane and Norman Bernstein Foundation began in the early 1960’s. It was largely a vehicle for personal giving, both as a way to address requests from friends and colleagues and support established institutions and Israel-related organizations. Over the years, especially as our mother got more involved, it also became a place to significantly impact the landscape of early childhood education and health equity alongside an ever-increasing investment in combating poverty in Washington, DC.

How the Next Generation Is Balancing Legacy and Progress

My five siblings and I got involved after we each turned 21. (And at 58, I’m the youngest.) Initially, that meant sitting in on meetings and rubber-stamping decisions made by our parents. It was, to be honest, occasionally tedious but not optional. I remember feeling interested and proud, but generally detached. Gradually, as they began to transition the grants to more communal decisions, we began to have a voice at the table.

Read the full article about balancing legacy and progress by Elizabeth Bernstein Norton at National Center for Family Philanthropy.