Giving Compass' Take:

• Vu Le at Nonprofit AF discusses meta-fragility: the uncomfortable feeling when thinking about others' potential discomfort during difficult conversations. Meta-fragility can keep organization leaders from making real progress with their staff, funders, and their board. 

• As an individual donor, it is essential to recognize what organizations can move past meta-fragility to advance missions and make an impact. It also is helpful when thinking about your own fragility as a donor. 

• Learn about how to recognize and overcome funder fragility.

A couple of years ago, I was discussing potential keynote topics with a group of conference planners. “How about fundraisers’ role in addressing systemic injustice,” I said, “including the need to have courageous conversations with donors about difficult topics like slavery, colonization, wealth disparity, and reparation? I’ll start with some light humor, maybe a few pictures of adorable kittens, and then BAM—racism!”

“Uh,” said the planners, “I’m not sure our members are ready for…that…” There was an awkward silence. I ate some BBQ chips. In the foreground, some tumbleweeds rolled by. A horse snorted nervously.

This happens a lot. This belief that others are not “ready” for things, that they are too fragile to handle stuff. I’m going to call it Gatekeeper Fragility, aka Meta-Fragility, a sense of emotional discomfort caused by thinking of others’ potential experiencing of emotional discomfort, which leads to prevention of uncomfortable conversations and gatekeeping of progress.

Yes, there are certainly power dynamics in many situations, like giving feedback to a funder (Funder Fragility is definitely a thing, which is why mechanisms like GrantAdvisor.org exist), or junior staff—who are often BIPOCs—calling out senior colleagues—who are often white. But oftentimes, it’s an assumption that others are fragile and can’t mentally or emotionally handle certain conversations, and I’ve observed that it’s often those with the most power and privilege who have these assumptions.  Those with the most privilege are often the most emotionally fragile and meta-fragile. And we need to solve this problem, for several reasons:

  • We are gatekeeping progress.
  • We are stepping on people’s autonomy.
  • We are blocking people’s personal and professional growth.

Read the full article about gatekeeper fragility by Vu Le at Nonprofit AF.