Giving Compass' Take:

· Social worker Tina Payne Bryson and psychiatrist Daniel Siegel partner together to explain how parents can encourage the development of empathy in their children. 

· How do children learn to care? How can parents instill these life skills in their children at a young age? 

· Here's how empathy can be taught in the classroom. 

When your toddler conks you on the head with a Tinkertoy and then laughs even though you are visibly hurt, it may be hard to imagine her becoming a caring, empathic person as she grows up. Or when your five-year-old puts on a cape and demands that everyone in the house stop what they are doing and watch a spontaneous magic show that lasts and lasts and lasts (and no, you may not go to the bathroom until it’s over!), his egocentrism can make you wonder if he will ever become someone who considers others.

We know a 16-year-old boy — let’s call him Devin — who, in many ways, behaves like a typical kid with all the problems and selfishness of most teenagers. He can make irrational decisions and is mean to his younger sister at times. But overall he consistently shows the ability to transcend self-centeredness and behave in ways that are caring and considerate. Recently, on his father’s birthday, Devin offered to skip an outing he had planned with his friends so he could spend time with his dad on the special day. He also regularly hugs his grandparents and can be expected to give up his seat for someone else on a city bus without being asked.

You might assume that Devin is simply one of those people who are empathic from birth. But you’d be wrong. When he was young, his parents worried about him because he showed very little innate ability to think of others’ feelings or consider their perspective, even as an elementary student approaching middle school. He’d consistently grab the first piece of birthday cake and the last remaining slice of pizza. It didn’t bother him when someone else was upset, and he was, frankly, a bit of a bully to his sister and sometimes his friends at school.

Read the full article about raising a child who cares by Tina Payne Bryson and Daniel Siegel at TED-Ed Blog.