Girl Scout leaders. A high school drama teacher. A college professor and civil rights leader.

These were my early mentors.

As I reflect on Women’s History Month, I’m reminded of this diverse set of women who shaped my personal history and guided me on my journey by living their values, helping me discover my strengths, and challenging me to break out of my comfort zone and embrace learning opportunities.

As an adult, mentoring relationships have continued to be an important part of my life. When I was in the early stage of my career and juggling work and family commitments, one of my mentors, the director of a youth development organization and a mother of three, told me how one day she realized she was overcommitted and resigned from several committees so she could focus on areas where she knew she could make an impact. Another experienced leader gave me much needed words of encouragement when I was feeling stressed about approaching deadlines, telling me to stop beating myself up, that the stress was not worth the harm it was causing, and to just do my best and not be afraid to ask for help.

These relationships have shaped my conversations with the young adults in my life who are working to develop their leadership skills, exploring career opportunities, and considering how they can contribute toward social justice in their communities. In turn, my mentoring relationships with young people, including students at my alma mater, have helped me to see new perspectives, listen actively and with empathy, try creative approaches, and to be flexible, laugh and have fun.

As the executive director of MENTOR Washington, I have heard and witnessed many stories about the power of mentoring relationships to transform lives. Here is one young woman’s story:

My mentor was a woman who worked at the nonprofit that I volunteered at while in foster care. This nonprofit became my home, the only symbolic form of permanency in my life, and the employees had a very personal and powerful influence on me. Our relationship began with me leaning on her emotionally, crying and venting in her office almost on a daily basis, and asking her for advice. The relationship deepened and her husband and friends began to feel a lot like my family as they brought me into their world. On top of being caring and supportive, this relationship showed me a different kind of life. I learned a lot from being around them, things like cooking, saving money, eating healthy, and being present. These values were organically intertwined into every discussion we had. Although they moved away, they are still like family to me.

 

Through these mentoring relationships and others, I learned how to love, how to process my emotions, how to communicate what I was thinking and feeling, and how to trust. I even learned how to be a good friend and how to listen. Many foster youth simply want someone to be there. At the core of all my mentoring relationships I just needed someone present and permanent that I could be at “home” with, someone that wasn’t a part of the many revolving doors in my life, someone that would accept my anxious calls at 2 a.m. if I needed it. Someone that actually knew me: who I was, my history, my likes and dislikes, and the things that make up my personality. These mentors made foster care just a bit more bearable – because they understood my situation and they were always there to help pick up the pieces each time I was retriggered or moved homes. I wholeheartedly needed someone that was in tune to my needs and someone that actually cared about me.

What I see over and over is that quality mentoring contributes to a young person’s personal growth and development, and social and economic opportunity, helping them to reframe what is possible, to believe in themselves, and to set and reach goals - big and small.

Research confirms that youth who receive mentoring (compared to peers) miss half as many days of school, are 55 percent more likely to enroll in college, and have reduced symptoms of depression, and increased social acceptance. Yet 1 in 3 young people in the U.S. are growing up without this powerful asset.

There are numerous ways you can help turn this around and incorporate mentoring into your philanthropy:

  1. Become a mentor and walk with a young person along their path to success.
  2. Support quality mentoring in schools, communities, and workplaces.
  3. Serve on the board of a mentoring organization.

As for me, I recently decided that I was ready to commit to a new mentoring relationship, so I completed the application, interview, and training process with a local mentoring program, and I’m looking forward to being matched with a youth in my community, who will undoubtedly have a meaningful impact in my life.

What is your mentoring story?